Reverb - week 3. Or 21 down 10 to go :)

December 15 – 5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

• how awesome it felt to be sleeping again
• how good it is to be on top of my game at work, without the mushy brain of new motherhood
• the sense of acceptance and okay-ness I had when I read Motherstyles
• the cuteness, awesomeness, love, laughter that we've shared with K & C
• how far I've come along in letting go
• having some truly awesome coaching clients who have achieved great things (books! and other)
• being on TV
• speaking for Big Corporate
• the beach holiday
• the beauty of Clarens
• the ease of the photoshoot
• meeting and connecting with so many wonderful people all over the world through this blog

(I set my timer for 5 mins; only a minute and a half have elapsed but I'm done)

December 16 – Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)

This is a tough one.

1) There is my friend M with our "triplet". Every time I'm tempted to complain I remember what she goes through with her M and I get grateful for our healthy babies. She's unknowingly changed my perspective to always be grateful that my two don't have to go for the 3 or 4 therapies M goes to on a regular basis. Remember they were all 3 born at 32 weeks so it could so very easily have been us.

2) Friendship in general has been 1 part wonderful and 4 parts horribly disappointing. I'd say I had quite a rude awakening this year and have mulled over these things far too much. Like why do people not seem to care about me as much as I care about them, etc, etc. Very draining!

I'm learning (very slowly, I might add) that I just need to let go. Let go of expectations, let go of yearning, just let go.

December 17 – Lesson Learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)

That I am much, much stronger than I ever thought I was. I already started applying this lesson, but when I'm tempted to think, "oh no, I can't" I just draw on my reserves and do it.

I also learned that I am an inspiration for some people. This thrills me so much when people tell me as it is very lonely being me. Here I am, doing my thing (weekly newsletter, blog, etc), and never getting feedback about anything so when someone tells me how something I said changed how they do things, it honestly blesses me.

It's that starfish thing - if I can just make a difference in one person's life, it's enough for me. But I have to know that. One day I felt compelled to write a rather unusual topic for the newsletter. It felt like I was speaking to someone and I asked the people to write and tell me.

Well, it was meant for one lady who wrote back with the loveliest email. I still have it on the other computer.

December 18 – Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it? (Author: Kaileen Elise)

I really, really want to travel internationally this year. I love travel so much. Wonderful Boss and I had lovely chats the past two weeks since we were the only ones in the office. One day we talked for about 30 mins on travel, what it is that compels us to do it, etc, etc.

The only thing I have just a smidgeon of regret about not doing this year is hiring a personal trainer. But that happens on Tuesday so I'm not too worried.

December 19 – Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011? (Author: Leonie Allan)

What healed me this year was Motherstyles. I know a lot of you think I'm crazy about this book (I am!) but for me, it's a big thing to know that I'm not alone. That book set me free to be the person I am and the mother I am for these babies.

Something else happened recently too but I'm not ready to share that yet. Another "I am not alone" moment that was quite a big aha for me.

In 2011, I would like to be healed of the open heart/ friendship thing. It is not me to feel so needy and I decided I'm done with that. I have decided on some boundaries to protect my heart and hope and pray that I'm strong and courageous enough to keep them firm.

Do I sound hard and callous?

December 20 – Beyond Avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)

Probably just not going full force with my marketing efforts. Or not marketing smarter. I just didn't feel like I wanted to be too visible which is rubbish but, well, there it is. I'm being honest.

Then again, I am very proud of keeping to my time boundaries. I always feel like I practise what I preach and if I tell my clients to build a business around their dream life, then I need to be living that too, and in 2010, I definitely did.

December 21 – Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (Author: Jenny Blake)

Gosh, 5 years from now I'll be 41. The babies will be 6! D and I will be married 21 years!

Hopefully the kind of advice I'd give myself would be similar to what I say to myself now. Things like...

• You are awesome just the way you are
• Continue speaking life and encouragement to others
• Celebrate every accomplishment, whether big or small.
  
• Life out loud.
• Don't be scared to take risks because a life lived on eggshells is one not worth living.
• Slow down, relax more.
  

BTW, I can't do this "write a note to your younger self" things - I am way too literal and have not a scrap of imagination.

Did any of those questions make you reflect on your own life?