So I checked back and I don't think I told you this story.
I'd made a friend through work and we even went to their house once.
I set up a few additional meetings for this person to possibly get some work from our company on a freelance basis.
Nothing eventually came of it because we stopped outsourcing this particular type of work.
However, we had used this person's services in my old team and actually paid for work still to be delivered.
When I handed over the stuff I was working on before moving to the new team, I worked with another guy to follow up on that work. Nice, friendly, nothing funny.
This person then responded in a very unusual way and said they didn't feel they could do this work anymore and please to appoint someone else.
Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things but alarm bells.
My ex-boss mailed me and asked if I knew what was going on. I said that it felt like it was this "possible work" story that didn't pan out but surely not?
Well, she made some other enquiries through another person who phoned and found that it was the reason.
Anyway, life (and business goes on.
But then...
I got unfollowed on instagram and other social media which really hurt me.
What does Mr Trump say?
"It's not personal; it's business"
Well, apparently not.
I really tried hard. Send card for new baby (proper card, in the mail!). Kept commenting (nicely) on both of their social media feeds.
Nothing.
Now I see a Lin.ked In request!!!!
What in the heck?
I really want to let my flesh react and just ignore it but I know I'll probably accept but maybe add a little message that's friendly but still clear about being ignored for a whole year.
What do you think?
Any weird friend business going on with you?
PS My friend Beth (who is not a weird friend) has the anniversary of her son's murder on Monday. Please will you cover her and the family in prayer. We chatted yesterday and she said she's really glad the snow's melting (the body was discovered in the snow that year) but she knows this weekend and Monday will be really hard. Thanks guys!
PPS I have THREE friendship dates next week - I can't WAIT :)
Lots of healing thoughts to your friend Beth!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what I'd do about that friend- I'd probably ignore the request totally.
Very strange...
ReplyDeleteWill be thinking and praying for your friend.
Oh my... Can I really give you my opinion. Social media has made life so freaking shallow...I just hate it. People are hurtful by defriending and unfollowing...and can never say things to your face. Sometimes I think the whole social media thing is a total farce...as you never know whether people are being "real" or just showing you what they want you to see.
ReplyDeletemmmm I don't know - trying to make sense of peoples online activities will drive you mad. I personally wouldn't read much into it but unless you have been long term friends, with special history - I would walk away.
ReplyDeleteProbably 80% of my friendships started online. Some of them have drifted apart, sometimes the people unfollow, other times we just leave it. Suppose it depends on the person?
Ditto to Lynette! Social media IS NOT real life. Brush it off.
ReplyDeleteAs to Beth, so sweet and kind! I'll definitely have her in my thoughts this week.
I feel like I've always had a great balance of work and friendship. Moving around with my job the way we once did meant that 99% of the people I knew, my friends, were from / at work.
ReplyDeleteOver the past couple of years, though, you may know I've had my challenges with work relationships and friendship. At the end of the day, we have to make our livelihoods, and I guess that -- at least in some cases -- overshadows friendship. (That sounds awful, I know...but it feels realistic against my recent experience.)
I would accept the LinkedIn request...no need to go tit for tat...but be more reserved. If you ever have the opportunity to talk it out in person...and you feel the relationship is worth investing in...maybe you can reach an understanding.
Hugs to you!!!
I really would not even give it a second thought. Whatever! If they wanted to be real friends they would make real world contact.
ReplyDeleteAs to Beth = lots of prayers, No parent should ever loose a child
Much love and strength to Beth. And you and I must talk about this situation some more. I should blog about my friend who won't make plans with me until she knows that nothing more exciting will come up. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteOh no Beth! Will keep that family in prayer.
ReplyDeleteOh please, I am so over trying to figure people out online or in real life for that matter.. I'm a worrier, and I just spend too much time thinking what did that mean, why did she do that, what was her tone, I wonder why she said that, was it something I said.. NO WAYS, I'm DONE with that! Now I just take it at face value, I try not to over analyse things and I just let it BE!