My last day

So remember I went to "see someone" and I've had just two sessions with her.

At the second session, she looked shocked when she first saw me and then said something like, "I can't believe how different you look this week".

I knew what she meant because I felt lighter and freeer as the month progressed.

At that session she asked me a bit about how I would deal with the last day and seemed a bit surprised that I'd set myself up for "success" so well.

I keep saying it but it's true - the last 13 months have knocked me over, and I haven't been myself.

This prepared, ready-for-action person is me though.



Anyway, so here's how I set things up:

1. Knowing those people, I'd planned to finish all my work by Thursday at the latest (worked til nearly midnight but got it done) so that when something would "come up" I'd be ready and not stressed.
2. Of course it happened - I had two things to do that morning which I handled nicely because I had nothing scheduled for that day.
3. I made an appt with my fin.ancial planner at a shopping centre near the office at 2... to force me to leave the office promptly... and a bit earlier.
4. I planned to hand in my laptop and access disk by 12 as our PA had the afternoon off... which I did.
5. Wrote my good-bye email to all my friends at the company on the Thursday and scheduled to send on Friday morning. Very happy I did this as it had the right tone and was pure "Marcia".

So from 12, I was breezing around because 1) I couldn't access email and 2) laptop was handed in and 3) no more time.sheets!

I had "coffee" with one person at 1:00 and then I went to my desk, forced myself to be nice one last time and dashed off.

Seriously, I was totally fine. I didn't even have to take a little white pill.

I think I was just ready.



It's funny how these things go.

It took me ages - AGES - to get to the point where I was willing to let go and make the decision to leave.

Once I did, things fell into place. My decision was confirmed MANY times over the month just by (normal) little things happening... but all those little things add up to a Marcia that was extremely unhappy for too long (for me).

I don't know about you but I generally have a very low tolerance for nonsense and this nearly pushed me over the edge.

And maybe it was only those little things happening but also emotionally I was getting more and more okay with leaving, realising that I am actually a worthwhile, talented, competent human being and if my company didn't realise that, then it really is their loss. 



I went to the office with D and the babies on the second Saturday after my resig.nation to take photos to my heart's content. D knew it was important to me to walk around and have that time there so we planned for it and made it happen. I've already worked through all those photos and not one tear was shed.

(I can say with absolute certainty that even 6 weeks ago, I would have shed tears just looking at that building, that corridor, all the little bits and pieces I love so much.)

Right after this post, I'm going to "journal" (I don't journal!) and write a list of reasons I resigned because I know it's normal to start doubting major decisions a bit.

I haven't had any doubts yet but it's early days.

I know many of you were curious about how I handled it.

What do you think?
Please ask questions in the comments and I'll answer there too so everyone can see.